How to Discipline Children and Help Them Develop Self-Control
The foundations for discipline are laid down in the early years. Flexibility is the key to discipline as children grow. Parents must be prepared to modify their discipline approach over time, using different strategies as their child develops greater independence and capacity for self-regulation and responsibility. During adolescence, the individuals become responsible for their own behavior. Establishing self-control is a process which develops slowly, and the ultimate goal of discipline is to help children build their own self-control, not to have them merely obey adult commands.
How do children raised by these types of parents grow up? Follow-up studies show that the moderate way, between extreme permissiveness and extreme strictness, is the most effective of the three styles. Children raised by authoritative/moderate parents tended to have a good self-concept and to be responsible, cooperative, self-reliant and intellectually curious. Children raised by authoritarian/strict parents tended to be timid and withdrawn, less intellectually curious and dependent on the voice of authority. Children raised by permissive parents tended to be immature, reluctant to accept responsibility or to show independence.
Following are some helpful discipline techniques:
· Use language to help solve problems
· Natural consequences
· No more no – keep it positive
· Don't dictate: negotiate
· Pick your battles
· Dealing with unacceptable behavior
· What doesn't work
· When to seek help